Journal entry, Jan 19, 2017,
in Gerhard’s Day One* Personal Journal
#med_painlevel = 7
The ROC (Rules of Conduct) for personal behavior of people with chronic pain states clearly that this type of whining and moaning is most unbecoming and should never ever be engaged in in public. I wouldn’t be caught dead (or near-dead) moaning like that (apart from that one time when I came out of back surgery and I was still
sedated. That doesn’t count).
Normally, even at home, you keep most of your ass-cramp to yourself and share it in a quiet and dignified way with a trusted loved one, or as a number on the pain scale (hash tag #med_level = 7) with your doctor. Level 1 is ‘no pain at all’. And level 9 is ‘preposterous’ — remember Space Balls where the speed of the spaceship is shown as ‘Ludicrous?’ That’s level 9 on the pain scale. If it lasted for a long time you’d be unconscious and go into shock and stuff. So, for instance, you never go to that level with your doctor. But level 9 does occasionally happen to people. Not good.
That’s why you have a journal.
Your journal is utterly private. This is where I write ‘Good morning, Lord’ between 4 and 5 am most mornings. But that is also where I let loose the most fearsome curses and abjurations. You have to do that cussing somewhere, otherwise you’ll probably let it out on your loved ones, and they don’t deserve that. Not that early in the morning.
*Day One is a Mac/iPhone/iPad personal journaling app that I recommend. It is fantastic. No, they don’t pay me anything for the endorsement. Nobody does.
*I can back up my cussing: Richard Stephens & Claudia Umland published an article titled Swearing as a Response to Pain — Effect of Daily Swearing Frequency in The Journal of Pain, 12 (2011) 1274-1281. doi:10.1016/j.jpain.2011.09.004.