How To Be A Gentleman: 100 Rules

With thanks to

How to be a Gentleman


I wish someone had made me learn these by heart before I left high school. In fact, before I entered high school … Memorize them. There will be a quiz.



  1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them
  2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
  3. Don’t knock it till you try it.
    4 . If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
  4. Always use “we” when referring to your home team.
  5. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
  6. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.
  7. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should .
  8. Don’t dumb yourself down.
  9. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
  10. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
  11. Never park in front of a bar.
  12. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
  13. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.
  14. Hold your heroes to a high standard .
  15. A suntan is earned, not bought.
  16. Never lie to your doctor.
  17. All guns are loaded.
  18. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
  19. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
  20. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
  21. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good .
  22. A handshake beats an autograph.
  23. Don’t linger in the doorway . In or out.
  24. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
  25. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
  26. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.
  27. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires and sheets.
  28. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
  29. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
  30. Eat lunch with the new kids.
  31. When traveling, keep your wits about you. No matter where you are.
  32. It’s never too late for an apology.
  33. Don’t pose with booze. It’s unbecoming .
  34. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT.
  35. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
  36. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
  37. Never push someone off a dock.
  38. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.
  39. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it .
  40. Don’t make a scene.
  41. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
  42. Know when to ignore the camera.
  43. Never gloat.
  44. Invest in great luggage.
  45. Make time for your mother on your birthday. It’s a special day for her too.
  46. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
  47. Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp.
  48. Give credit. Take blame.
  49. Suck it up every now and then.
  50. Never be the last one in the pool.
  51. Don’t stare .
  52. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally .
  53. Stand up to bullies. You only have to do it once.
  54. If you’ve made your point, stop talking .
  55. Admit it when you’re wrong.
  56. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done .
  57. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
  58. Thank the bus driver .
  59. Never answer the phone at the dinner table .
  60. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
  61. Know at least one good joke.
  62. Don’t boo.Even the ref is somebody’s son.
  63. Know how to cook one good meal.
  64. Learn to drive manual/stick shift.
  65. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
  66. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
  67. Dance with your mother.
  68. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
  69. Always thank the host.
  70. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
  71. Know the size of your girlfriend’s clothes.
  72. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt .
  73. Be a good listener. Don’t just take your turn to talk.
  74. Keep your word.
  75. In college always sit near the front. You’ll stand our immediately and come grade time it will come in handy.
  76. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.
  77. Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.
  78. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
  79. Women like men who shower .
  80. You are what you do. Not what you say.
  81. Learn to change tire.
  82. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them .
  83. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
  84. Don’t litter.
  85. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
  86. You won’t always be the strongest or fastest . But you can be the toughest .
  87. Never call someone before or after 9am and 9pm.
  88. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
  89. Make the little things count.
  90. Apologize when it’s appropriate, but never make excuses.
  91. There is a fine line between looking casual and looking like a slob. Find it.
  92. You’re never too old to need your Mom.
  93. Never talk about your military service unless specifically asked.
  94. Know the words to your national anthem.
  95. Your dance moves might not be t he best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone .
  96. Smile at strangers.
  97. Make Goals.
  98. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
  99. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.

What do you think? Anything to add? Feel free to leave a reply.

My battle with my blog’s connection to Facebook

Blogging is fun. I honestly love it. And it’s less challenging than maintaining a website proper. But it still happens on a darned computer!

Here’s my quest: I want some WordPress plugin that will post a note to Facebook every time I publish a blog post. That’s simple. There are probably 50 plugins that do that. But I want to control the resulting Facebook post.That’s not so easy.

Here’s the reason I need to be in full control of my Facebook entries: my Facebook timeline is inhabited by my friends and family – not a bunch of strangers. I care deeply what I dish up for their consumption. I don’t want to annoy them or bore them. I don’t want them to think I’m cooky, although I am.

I’m sure such a WordPress plugin exists – I just don’t know about it. If you do, for heaven’s sake let me know! In the meantime, I’m going to update my Facebook page manually every time I post. Not that that gives me complete control, but then at least I can decide to post or not to post. (Yeah, I am going to do it. Wait for it …) To post or not to post. That is the question.

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Six Acres and Independence

Our piece of land is our Declaration of Independence. No more store-bought eggs. In summer, no more tomatoes from some farm in California. Soon – no more milk, cheese, butter, cream, half-and-half, or yoghurt from the store.  This is where we make our stand against man-made or natural disasters, economic collapses, or shortages and want.

We have been working this small piece of our Earth for almost 4 years now. It has resisted us and nourished us; hurt us and healed us. Now we are getting ready for the big push: The Cows. It may happen next month or next year. We’ll be working around obstacles, through them, under them, or over them. But we will get there. Our tools? Hard work and all the smarts we can muster.

All I can say is: watch this space . . .

Abelard and Héloïse – A Medieval Love Story

The Medieval Philosopher Who Was Attacked and Mutilated
According to Wikipedia, the savior of millions of students, quoting the Chamber Biographical Dictionary, Pierre Abelard (1079 – 21 April 1142) was “the keenest thinker and boldest theologian of the 12th Century.” He was perhaps one of the founders of Medieval scholastic philosophy. But for a personality trait and an indiscretion, his life would have been as boring as, say, that of Thomas Aquinas.

Zero People Skills
First the personality trait. Pierre Abelard was a jackass. The man was superbly intelligent, his mind was a steel trap, and he was an orator who could wipe the floor with the brightest minds of his time. And he did! And his opponents did not like that – powerful opponents. In debates, he belittled and offended his opponents. Eventually his impressive corpus of haters hit him where he was most vulnerable: heresy. But before that, he had another Achilles heel: a woman.

A Steamy Love Affair, And How He Lost You Know What
Abelard’s indiscretion was a steamy love affair with the niece of a powerful man, the secular canon Fulbert. Héloïse was one of those curious phenomena of the Middle Ages: a woman who was intelligent and well educated, but would write letters saying: “But what do I, a poor, simple woman know?” Think of Hildegard of Bingen, who was the first woman who was allowed to preach in Europe and who told kings how to run their kingdoms. She did the same thing in her letters. Anyway, Abelard and Héloïse fell desperately, hopelessly in love. It was not a love affair between a nun and a monk. They were both free to get married. But they didn’t. But finally, Abelard’s past caught up with him – a band of men hired by some of his powerful enemies burst into his room one night and castrated him. That put a brutal and sudden halt to his career as a lover.

An Enduring Love Story
Abelard’s other career, that of teacher and philosopher, dragged on through trials and tribulations until his death in 1142. Later, Héloïse was buried next to him. In spite of an obviously abrasive personality, he left behind not only a brilliant oeuvre of philosophical works but one of the most beautiful love stories in the collective consciousness of Europe. To this day, forlorn lovers place flowers at the graves of Abelard and Héloïse in Paris.

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